Loudly
the putter of rain
changed the atmosphere
both inside and out
Loudly
the din of rain
made me move
rushing outside to the lines
Loudly
he shouted to remind me
of the laundry hanging outside
soaking the large drops of tropical rain
Loudly
I yelled back to confirm
I was on my way
to the backyard, basket in hand
Quietly
I sang to myself whilst
plucking the pegs hurriedly
off the bedsheets and pillow cases.
This slice is poetic and musical. I love the repetition and use of loudly to create the tension of the moment. Your ending, a quiet song of taking down the laundry, is unexpected and soothing. Way to go in capturing the mundane in some a marvelous way!
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Love the repetition of loudly- helps me “hear” the poem so LOUD and clear!
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I love your poem, Juliette. I wrote about the rain today, too. I love the sounds and pictures created by your words. It seems as though the rain is everywhere today.
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Beautiful poemy slice! I love the smell of laundry off the clothesline! I hope the rain didn’t cause you too much more work.
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I loved your poem slice! Thanks for sharing!
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